For All Intents and Purposes
by Fudgyokra
Summary: When Dil asks Tommy to help him with a crush, the latter learns something surprising about his younger brother.


**For All Intents and Purposes**

 **A/N:** This was just a simple oneshot that I did on a whim to try my hand at writing a teenage Dil. With the addition of this oneshot I've written for sixteen different fandoms, predominantly cartoons, haha.

xx

It was an irrefutable fact that Dil's interests were unique. This was as clear at age thirteen as it had been every year before that. His pursuits tended to revolve around aliens, novels of strange origins, disgusting paraphernalia, or some bizarre combination of all three, but no matter what he concerned himself with, Tommy always supported him. So when the day finally came that his little brother approached him for advice on how to deal with a crush, he was nothing less than positive. Surprised, but positive.

It began like any other conversation among them would have: Dil sat beside him on the couch while he was watching TV, made some offhanded remark about how one of the actors looked exactly like so-and-so from one of his comic books, and then popped the question with no indication that he'd even been thinking about it at all.

"Hey, T," he said, picking idly at his fingernails, "how do I ask someone I like to date me?"

The older boy looked puzzled for a moment before he started to speak. "Well, I'd try to get into their interests, see if we had anything in common first."

Dil's response was quick. "Already done." He flashed a toothy smile. "We hang out a bunch, actually. I know we have tons of stuff in common."

Tommy nodded. "That's good, but I'd probably try and ask if they had a boyfriend before I started dropping hints. And, uh…" He tapped his chin thoughtfully while Dil watched him, completely focused on his brother's words. "I guess if they were givin' me signs that they liked me, too, then I'd just go ahead and ask."

"Cool!" Dil exclaimed. "Sounds easy peasy."

Right as Tommy tipped his chin to nod in agreement, his younger brother's merriment slid right off his face. He then asked, with measured curiosity, "But how do I know if he likes me?"

Tommy blinked once, twice, three times. "…He?"

Dil bobbed his head to the affirmative, brows raised to indicate that he was awaiting his brother's answer. "Uh, yeah," he said at length when the answer never came. "He. As in, male Homo sapien living on planet earth." Another beat of silence occurred between them before Dil added with a cheeky smile, "At least I think Phil is human. He's kind of weird, am I right?"

" _Phil?_ " Tommy asked, gaping at him. "You have a crush on _Phil?_ "

Dil nodded slowly as though it had been obvious and reinforced this belief with a flippant, "Well, duh, bro. We're, like, practically the same person. Except I have a better sense of smell." He chuckled, then added, "And I'm not really into sports like he is, but he's got Lil for that."

"Wow," was all Tommy could think to say for quite some time. Eventually, though, he regained his composure. His brother needed advice, and he'd never let Dil down if he could help it. That's what siblings were for, right? "I would make sure he seems comfortable with your flirting and go from there," he said before regarding the redhead with a concerned expression. "But Dil…"

"Sup?"

"I don't know if Phil is…" Tommy made a vague hand gesture that Dil didn't seem to comprehend. With a sigh, he said, "Y'know, into guys. So don't be too upset if he isn't, okay?" He offered a friendly smile and laid a hand on the other's shoulder.

"Oh, he's into guys," Dil replied confidently. His grin was downright goofy.

Tommy was momentarily taken aback. "Whoa, really? How do you know that?"

"'Cause we've been dating for a week and a half, dude."

Dil allowed his brother a moment to splutter through his inquiry of, "Then why did you ask me how to ask him out?" before he affixed one of his rare serious smiles to his face.

"I just wanted to know that you'd always have my back, T. Even if I told you I liked boys."

Tommy couldn't help but laugh. "Aw, Dil. You're my baby brother. You can come to me for all sane intents and purposes and I will have your back."

"Only the sane ones?" Dil joked.

Tommy tousled Dil's hair, then slung an arm around his shoulders affectionately. "Okay, fine, maybe some not-so-sane ones, too. I'll love you no matter what, D."

Dil groaned theatrically. "Yeah, yeah. Lay off the touchy stuff." Still, he couldn't help but smile before he turned his head away. Tommy pretended not to notice.

Despite his initial shock, Tommy had to admit that Phil _was_ a pretty good match for his eccentric younger brother, now that he'd given it some thought. Dil's interests could reach strange heights, sure, but he'd found someone who could enjoy the weird things with him. For that, Tommy was glad. If Dil was happy then he was, too.


End file.
